Phantasm is a topsy-turvey world of dreams mixing with reality and a dozen sci-fi, fantasy and horror elements that make no sense, but taste great together. The films always feel like the breathless ramblings of a coked-up 8 year-old. "Blah! TallMan, Kill-Balls, Jawas, Ghosts, AliensFromAnotherDimension, ChainsawWieldingGasMaskWearingGraveDiggers! Ahhhhhhh!" I'm sure if you look closely, you'll see a drunken werewolf delivering babies.
ONE OF THE MANY KILL-BALLS IN ATTACK MODE
So, anyway, Phantasm II takes place 10 years after the original. Reggie's older, Mike looks a lot like James LeGross and he has a psychic rapport with a blond girl, who I will call Blond-O since I can't remember her name. The dynamic duo break into a True Value Hardware and arm themselves with Chainsaws, blowtorches, and garden weasels to do battle with the Tall Man, or perhaps, Mossman. I know if I'm gonna do a little B&E, it'll be at a military surplus store, not the place that can make me a spare set of keys. But, since they come away with Reggie's super-gun and plenty of other props for the coming mayhem, I'll let it slide.
REGGIE ENTERS THE FORBDDEN ZONE
Reggie and Mike drive around a lot, see some weird shit, pick up a sexy hitchhiker that might or might not be the living dead and finally run into Blond-O. This sets the stage for the final battle with the Tall Man at the mortuary from Hell. We get to see some chainsaw on chainsaw action, numerous Jawa attacks, various Kill-Ball goreings (including my favorite where one of them tunnels around inside a dude) and Reggie using his super-gun against some perfectly lined-up enemies. Plus, the Tall Man bleeds French's Mustard. What more can you ask for in a film.
REGGIE'S WEILDING HIS SUPER-GUN 5000, AFTER HIS SHIFT AT KFC
The movie did leave me with a couple of questions though. Why are the Kill-Balls easily trapped in flesh? Those suckers were breaking down doors, melting metal, but meat...stuck.
Second, sexy hitchhiker girl? Was she always the Tall Man in disguise? Did Reggie have French's Mustard-sex with the Tall Man?
The mere thought of Agnus Scrimm cooch has me flabbergasted.
Tall Man and his flying Kill-Balls... sounds a bit like prison lingo.