DR. GEEKTARDED's VIDEO VAULT

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DR. GEEKTARDED's VIDEO VAULT

http://geektardedvidvault.blogspot.com/

Comic Ad-O-Rama Vol 1

One of my favorite things about older comics are the ads. If you were a devoted reader, some ads became as familiar as the comic characters themselves. And in those go-go pre-Internet days of the 70s, 80s and 90s, they were one of the few connections to the world at large about cartoons, comics, toys and all the other products.

I'll be posting these in a few parts, since sitting around and scanning is one of my most hated of activities. If they make a "Hostel III" and ask me to star in it, the movie would be 90 minutes of seedy European businessmen paying large sums of cash to force me to scan comics for hours on end. So, without further blah-blah-blah, Comic Ad-o-rama Vol. 1

M.A.S.K. toy ad

One of the greatest of the 80s toy/cartoon series. I still remember the exact moment that I saw this advertisement. I was skimming over the comic rack at the local Shopko while my mom looked at magazine. The mock air battle, the showcase of series 1 vehicles and figures, the idea of normal cars turning into jets. It was all perfect. I quickly made my way to the toy section and worked my best possible "toy begging face" to procure a shiny, green plastic wonder by the name of "Condor". It was the perfect toy. Cheaply priced, small enough to smuggle along on car rides, it came with a figure and a helmet that gave M.A.S.K. agent "Brad Turner" super powers. The rest is history.
GoBots model kits

I built and later used as fireworks fodder a great many of these kits.

Nestle Quick GoBots contest Ad

Voltron action figures ad

Loved these toys. A very American take on a Japanese series.

Warlord, K Mart exclusive line

Remco's answer to Masters of the Universe, a DC comic character no kid had heard of.

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Bonkers Candy Ads

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Saturday morning cartoon premier ads/New Cartoon series Ads.

These are some of my all time favorite types of ads. Childhood time capsules that charted many Saturday mornings. They also expanded my cartoon knowledge at a young age. I would would buy old comics at flea markets and garage sales and run across Saturday premier ads that would predate me. I'd see artwork for cartoons no longer airing; shows I had never even heard of at the time. I think that's how I discovered Johnny Quest, Space Ghost and some other classic cartoons.

CBS 1985
A more traditional cartoon ad that lists the shows. Luckily there's a big, shirtless Hogan to confuse boys and girls alike.

GoBots. By the way, "They're Awesome!"

Jetson and Galtar Ad

for the Sunday morning staple, The Funtastic World of Hanna Barbera

NBC 1985

A classic. I love the idea that all these characters are hanging out at the NBC studios, like they're co-workers or something.

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FHE Transformers and GI Joe VHS video ads

Say what you will about DVD boxet prices, they're a steal compared to the early days of VHS. I remember the ungodly amount of begging that had to be done in order to talk my parents into buying a $24.95 copy of "Ultimate Doom", the 3-part Transformers mini-series.

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The ad that set Captain America back at least a decade or two. Dancing around with a top hat and cane. What an asshole!

Cool Marvel merchandise, including Secret Wars

Secret Wars puffy stickers and Dorman's cheese.

Two things not on shelves anymore.

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Starriors comic book ad.

Loved these toys and bought the comic.

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Early 80s video games ads

TRON

Advance Dungeons & Dragons

Frogger

GI Joe

Man, this double page ad was a personal favorite. Never had the game, but I sure did want it.

Mario Bros for Atari 2600 and 5200

Star Wars

I have no clue how long this ad ran or how often, but this guy is forever etched into my brain. It's like a Pavlovian reaction. I see the photo and I see myself walking out of Kwick Shop with a cherry Slush Puppie, some Mr. Melon candy and a copy of GI Joe #25

Where's the Bell Beefer?

Bell Beefer. Two simple, stupid words that a great many a child of the 70s and 80s will remember fondly. For a time, it was Taco Bell's answer to the burger chainsÕ dominance of the meat sandwich market. Those simpler days when we still thought inside the bun and there was no cheesy, crunchy, runny, gummy, "Fourth Meal"

For those who never experienced the Bell Beefer or those who chose to forget it, it was this simple recipe: All the crap on a Taco Bell taco, placed on a plain hamburger bun. It was delicious. For a fair portion of my childhood years, Taco Bell was sonomimus with "I want a Bell Beefer and Pintos and Cheese cup!" I don't think I ever ate anything else until Taco Bell discountinued the Beefer.

So, in a spasm of nostalgia, I decided to try and recreate the fabled Bell Beefer from days of yor. The process is fairly simple. First, buy a package of cheap, plain white hamburger buns (The small ones that are like a package of 8 for $1.25). Second, drive to the nearest Taco Bell and order some regular or soft tacos. Also get some Pintos and Cheese as a side dish. Once you're home scoop the contents of each taco onto a bun and microwave for 10 seconds (just enough to warm the buns). Top with taco sauce and enjoy.

1. BUNS

2. TACOS

3. MEAT DUMP

4. NUKE 'EM

5. SAVOR THE NOSTALGIA

6. EAT THE BEEFER

Overall, they taste pretty much like I remember them tasting. Taco Bell's tacos haven't changed much over the years, so the flavor replicates the original Bell Beefer quite nicely. Throw in the Pintos and it's 1986 all over again. They're easy to make, so I know I will try these again. If you're too lazy or on the go, some other taco chains sell similar sandwhiches. I know Taco Johns has sold Taco Burgers for many years. But, if you're going to wallow in the past, you really can't top the original flavor of a Beefer.

So, bust out the NES roms or jump to youtube and play some USA "Night Flight" clips to set the mood and chow down on some mock Bell Beefers.

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DR. GEEKTARDED

Random recent toy nonsense

For years, fanboys have wondered, "Are Power Girl's breast real?" Well, the world can finally be told. No, they're fake. Big, pillowy, rubbery...hem, yes, well...

Gigantic sweater-meat aside, DC Direct continues to put out some amazingly cool, yet overpriced 13" action figures.

Silver Age Batman

Silver Age Robin

Found a decent Mego Superman at a flea market a few weeks back for $10...

And reproduction Star Trek Megos are out too!


Masterpiece Megatron



Bad-assed

New Frontier serie 2, along side series 1

Scored the rest of the new DC Universe figures this weekend.

If you build it...

New Transformers the Movie figures: Lockdown, Evac and Overcast (I think those are the names...)

Finally ran across some of the new "The Batman" JLA figs and a new Joe 2-pack with Ace and Wild Weasle

Lastly a cool Mario vinyl. The classics...

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Dr. G

Something Wicked This Way Fizzes

While checking out one of those new-fangled "Nostalgia Candy Shops", I stumbled across FIZZIES. FIZZIES, that space-age wonder tablet that, once added to water, creates an instant soft drink. It sounds like some real Jetsons-style shit, like food pills and a jet-car that folds up into a briefcase.

I chose "root beer" for my trial run. After I got home, carefully read the instructions and prepared myself the drink of the future: 1 tablet added to 6 oz. of cold water.

After an eternity of fizz-time, my tasty treat was ready to drink. It looked like rusty tap water, but I wasn't about to let the deter me.

The taste... HO-LEEEE Buttered DOG-ASS! Imagine pouring a half cup of flat A&W into a garbage can, letting it sit for a week in the sun, having a spider-moneky with clamidia take a pee in the can and then you add some ice and drink it. That probably still doesn't come close to how awful this was. I went back and checked the package twice to make sure I wasn't supposed to add sugar or have a priest bless it, but I had mixed it correctly.

So, FIZZIES, not the best thing I've had in my mouth. I didn't grow up with them, so I have no reference on how they used to taste. Maybe they used to be great and these new ones are crazy-messed up recipes or something. I do have to assume that the company to makes them is in fact run by the devil itself. I actually feel a little damaged by the whole affair. I'll most likely need a grief counselor of something to overcome the emotional scars left by that unholy flavor.

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DR. G